I thought I was prepared for all the complexities of not having a traditional bathroom in my van.
Outdoor showers between the back doors
Indoor showers in a kiddie pool
Emptying my portable toilet tank every week
Having to plan and package my own #2
All fun and games!
So, imagine my surprise when my trusty toilet spontaneously ejected fresh urine into my face like a volcanic eruption. 🌋
I had just crossed the border from Oregon into Idaho on I84 after driving four hours with a mysterious, continuous, nails-on-a-chalkboard scraping sound 🙉 coming from the back of the van (later discovered it was a metal lid rubbing against a metal storage basket).
Rushing to a gas station to fill up the tank, the urge to pee was pressing. And since I tow around my own toilet, I quickly put Copper in park and popped back into my house for some sweet relief (public restrooms and covid cooties, no thanks! ✌🏾).
A relaxing minute later, I stood up and reached to the back of my toilet to pull the flush handle (white lever in picture above). In hindsight, I'm not sure why I decided to bend straight over the impressively-full bowl with the lid still up, but . . . I did. 🤷🏽♀️ And I paid for it.
The fresh, warm urine exploded 18 feet in the air, covering the new floor I'd just finished installing earlier that day, and dousing my chest, shoulder, and cheek – the only shower I'd had for days (not as refreshing as I remembered).
This was my unreasonably calm face: 😒
The ultimate irony (which I should've mentioned earlier) is that about five hours earlier that day, right before I hit the road, I was scrolling through Instagram and read @fenimoresadventuremore's post that mentioned something about elevation and being covered in urine. I explicitly remember being so confused about what they were talking about, but just shrugged it off.
So the moment this unfortunate lesson literally slapped me in the face, their caption made all the sense!
Now, science has never been my forte nor passion (I was always an English, arts, and maths girl). So it's not surprising that I put zero thought into the fact that air expands the further away from sea level you get. 🏔️
That nice, air-tight, smell-proof toilet tank had been expanding and bulging with every irritating squeak of the pan lid. And when I pulled the flush lever, it got a big gasp of air in exchange for my pee.
Well I'd like to tell you I learnt from this lesson, but the truth is . . . when you gotta go, you gotta go! Especially on long road trips. And it's not common practice to consider if you've climbed a mountain recently before you sit down.
I definitely have experienced the same eruptions since then, but have started closing the lid before flushing each time, just in case, which has saved my clothes and glasses from needing a change (it does still make a mess on the floor though). 💦
In summary: if you have a portable toilet in your portable house and you know you'll be hitting some hills on your adventure, I recommend leaving a sliiight crack in your toilet tank to avoid being like me.
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